That'll shut up those snooty, arrogant Europoopheads!
RANKIN INLET, Nunavut – First she gutted it. Then she had the heart pulled out of its furry, flabby carcass. Finally, she swallowed a slice of the mammal's dripping organ.
And when it was all over Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean wiped the blood of a freshly slaughtered seal off her crimson-spattered fingertips.
(...)"It was absolutely delicious," Jean said. "These are ancient practices that are part of a way of life.
The locals expressed their wish more outsiders would see things that way. They explained they don't use the hooked hakapiks that have faced such bitter criticism from environmentalists.
They said they use guns or harpoons, and can't understand why their industry is considered less humane than cattle farming.
I know, I know why!!! It's because those opposed to the seal hunt are RACISTS!!! Yah!!! Those "progressive" Euroweenies, they hate Eskimos and want to push 'em down, take away their way of life!
Hey, you sophisticated, urbane, nuanced, "progressive" Europeein's, Canada's Queen of the Progressive Movement is showing you what you're supposed to support. If you don't, then you're racists!
That'll make 'em cancel the ban on importing seal products, because they don't want to be seen as racists.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get the propaganda campaign rolling already!
< / SARCASM >