"Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators," Hiren Das told Assam state's assembly.
He said the primates were "even slapping women who try to chase them".
(...)
Last month, the deputy mayor of Delhi died when he fell from his balcony after being attacked by monkeys.
Geez... first we hear about the killer squirrels, now we have monkeys going around stealing stuff from people and even assassinating politicians! I think they've evolved... into Radically Extreme Leftists!
Speaking of monkeys and Leftists, I'll probably get some comments from some of them accusing me of monkeyophobia...
